You Are The Reason Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – A CP Tourney Update

It should be noted to my superior beings that I am NOT going to produce a massive long speech about how each match went and about at what frequency each player spoke. Partly because tv_relayvoice was set to 0, partly because GameServers.com suck and partly because I hate beating around the bush when it comes to reporting news. I care if 2000 people were killed in <Insert Remote City Where Nobody Visits Here> but I don’t care if Trevor McDonald comes along and talks for 5 minutes about ‘We are dreaded to report this…..’. I JUST WANT THE NEWS MAN!!!!!! Anyway, I want to salvage my real life and virtual world reporter integrity by telling you guys about our epic matchups from outside ‘America,The Beautiful’.

Things got slingshotted into the expected highly sort after matchups and epic gameplay on Friday night where myself amongst about 12 people in our wonderful Steam chat (as Vent wasn’t working properly and Skype sucked) sat back and watched the first part of our European leg of the tournament come to pass on US3 (?). This was the all Europe match (and a couple of our Yank friends for Lambda). I am talking of course about Lambda and Phoenix. I want to get the praise for both teams out of the way first. They were a joy to watch in GameServers.com Brand Lag-O-Vision, they kept the match exciting, unpredictable, gripping and I am purely honest when I say this: This is the reason why I enjoy playing Team Fortress 2. Two great teams, one great matchup, one great game. Also, teamwork was impeccable. Right. Now we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the match

Phoenix can be praised for putting up such a great fight and in the early sections of the game, both teams were completely matched. However, thanks to some VERY sneaky caps, Lambda won both matches. One thing I don’t recommend you do in future is corner these guys around point B. This is where the whole match was so worthwhile. Phoenix and Lambda defences were second to none. Both teams showed great teamwork with the engies doing great jobs in keeping their sentries up. Man of the match was possibly was Phoenix’s Mikey.

What? You expected an in-depth analysis? I don’t want to be responsible for clogging up the entire page talking about how shiny an engineer’s wrench is or how bloody the butterfly knife of ‘that’ spy was. I want to do a SUMMARY.

sum·ma·ry
Pronunciation Key -[suhm-uh-ree] Pronunciation Key – Pronunciation noun, plural -ries,

adjective – brief and
comprehensive; concise.

If you don’t like what I’m doing, watch the demos

Speaking of which:

http://drop.io/phoenixlambdagravelpit

I am good. Aren’t I?

Oh, and Lambda played against Total Lack of No Nonsense on Saturday. As I was joined by their greatnessnessnesses in the Vent server (I pulled out my ingenuity), Brent Copeland and Eric Fullerton, I decided to do something special. I decided to activate a free-roam in Source TV. Disaster. Our good friends over at GameServers.com (Frag, Not Lag? Seriously) decided that as there is a Monday in the month, they wanted to break our server a little more. As a result, my commentary turned into a silent movie on Vent and Steam for a couple of minutes each round. Brent, I am begging you, quality and not quanity. Get another hosting company or do something to stop it breaking everytime someone with more than a ping of 5 joins US3. These guys cannot do high capacity servers.

Sorry. I’m wandering off course slightly.

Lambda vs Total Lack of No Nonsense

Other than having a problematic name and having to void a match as noone but me understood the tournament rules correctly, TLNN really put up a fight against the co-leaders of the tournament. Their defence on B was even more epic than the night before and they totally steamrolled Lambda in the first round. The second round and SourceTV decided to break……

When we got back online, we saw a pure move of desperation and a little trickery thrown in. As Lambda captured their second control point, a scout snuck onto point C without TLNN even having a clue about what was going on. Whilst the battle was still being fought far away from C, the game went to our first European tie breaker game. Guess what? TLNN completely destroyed Lambda, capturing A and B with 4 minutes left on the clock. As Lambda only captured A and B, using a lot of overtime at that, TLNN captured A and B a lot faster. This threw a lot of people, but I’ll tell you one thing, I can’t wait for a rematch next month

Missed it? Tough. I have a stupid 2.2Mbps Internet connection and I can’t upload over 200mb worth of demo files with a 30kbps upload limit.

I should also tell you about the map rotation for the tourney

June – Gravelpit

July – Well

August – 2Fort

In the unlikely event that there is a tie at the top of the table, there will be a match played by the winning teams at Badlands

Just to give you the headsup

Join me soon in Vent ONLY. Check the forums or ask me for the Vent IP, port and Password

Toodles

Jazz

This was brought to you by OoberServers.com, Where Real Gamers Play

And the Control Point Summer Tournament Ustream Channel, Now with added lag